Tuesday, June 26, 2012

Top 10 Tips for Toddlers

Next week my daughter will be two. TWO. Where does the time go?

It's amazing how fast they change. Sometimes I really wonder though...what exactly is going on in her head?  I think that she's just messing with me. It's like toddlers just sit around and think "Hmmm... What can I do to mess with Mommy today?"

Tips for Toddlers

10. It is totally acceptable to stick your half-eaten PB&J sandwich in the couch. It keeps it close at hand for when you get hungry later.

9. Be stingy with your love. While Mommy can hear you, make sure you tell the dog, your stuffed animals and your friend that you love them. Refuse to say it to Mommy.

8. Adults can't resist cuteness. If it looks like you're about to be in trouble start singing the Itsy Bitsy Spider song in the cutest possible way. Then give whoever you've pissed off a great big hug. Hold onto them until the anger has completely drained out of them, then go right back to doing whatever bad thing you were doing to begin with.

7. Set up a distraction your parental unit will fall for. While they are occupied, raid the cabinets on the other side of the house for food. Just toss whatever you don't want on the floor.

6. Randomly shove objects down the front of your shirt. Proudly announce that you are a kangaroo. Bonus points if you do this in public.

5. Point at people in wheelchairs and yell "Bike!". Watch Mommy turn a bright red.

4. If you are forced to go grocery shopping, make sure you bite all the stuff you want Mommy to buy. She can't put it back on the shelves with your teeth marks on it after all!

3. If Mommy is on her hands and knees scrubbing the floor, jump on her back and demand a piggy back ride. 

2. If you find a dead bug make sure you pick it up and take it to your Mommy. She loves those! Especially if you hold it so she can't see what it is until she pries it from your little fingers. Surprise!!!

1. When your parental unit tells you something, loudly yell "I know!". You aren't stupid! You are almost two after all.


  1. LOL-this was so funny. I can relate to so many of these. Gotta love those kiddo's. = ) Great post...it was fun to read.