Tuesday, May 8, 2012

My Kid The Nudist and Other Fun Times at the Zoo

This week our hardwood floors are being redone. Yay! I can't express to you how happy this makes me. Our dining room floor has bothered me for years and now it will finally look halfway decent. I'm ecstatic.

The only problem with this is that I had to find a way to keep Baby Girl out of the house practically all day yesterday and today. I managed it, but only barely. Yesterday I decided to take her to the zoo while they sanded everything down. Good plan, right? Just me and my daughter spending a nice day together at the zoo.

Baby Girl really  likes the elephants. They weren't outside which really pissed me off since that's what she wanted to see so bad, but we did get to see them inside... a little. It kind of sucked.

We ate lunch at the zoo and that was nice except she kept stealing my hamburger and tried to shove her chicken nuggets in my face. And I bought her a little stuffed elephant since she likes them so much. 

There was a tiger that was very interested in Baby Girl . It was pretty far away behind glass and when it saw Baby Girl it just came walking over, jumped in the water and swam right up to the glass. And sat there. I don't think I ever realized how big those things are. Baby Girl kept saying "Kitty!" And I was all, "No, that is a tiger and it will rip your face off" but she totally wasn't scared. Toddlers.  

Can't tell if the tiger wants to eat her or is just jealous that she has a sippy cup.

 She wanted to run around but I was afraid I would lose her so she mostly stayed in the stroller. When we went into the reptile house I figured it would be safe enough to let her walk around since she can't open the doors to get out and it's really just one hallway. Boy was I wrong. I put her in a cute little dress which, in hindsight, was probably a bad idea. As soon as I let her out of the stroller she bolted,.

Then she stopped, whipped off her diaper and threw it, and started running away. EPIC. Thank GOD no one was in there to see it, though I'm sure they have camera and someone saw it. I grabbed her and the diaper and rushed off to the restroom as fast as I could. We left shortly after that. Not sure if I'm allowed at that zoo anymore. If I have to go back I refuse to do so without a wig and full disguise. Seriously guys, I was mortified.

Kids wonder why their parents always seem to want to embarrass them. Well I know. It's paybacks, pure and simple. I'm already plotting my revenge.

Oh, and my floors turned out awesome. The final coat went one this afternoon, and now I just have to get the trim put on and we're good to go. First project is nearly complete!

I don't have pictures of my kid running around without her diaper on in public, because that's kiddie porn and ya'll should be ashamed of yourselves. Here are some cute pictures of her fully clothed at the zoo.

Fake rhino, no worries. I'm not that bad of a mom.

Also a fake turtle. Now I feel like a boring mom.

I would have left her in there, but she probably would have started flinging poo at random people.


  1. Hah hah. Hilarious. I can totally picture that scene playing out!

    1. You have no idea. It's funny now, but I'm pretty sure I turned 50 shades of red when it happened!